how fucked up would it be if an astronaut was coming back to earth and everybody hid for a bit
i wish i was famous so i could buy things for my fans off their Amazon wish list. and like, send them money to help them with bills and shit like that
What’s the gayest thing I’ve ever done? Danced to Hollaback Yonce under a rainbow after the gym
He will save us all.
The chosen one.
That went on for longer than I expected
I’m on medication that can make me spacey af, which can be a problem when I’m driving–like yesterday, for example, when my best friend was trying to help me avoid a pothole
he said “to the left,” and I just mumbled “take it back now y'all” and hit the pothole straight on
You’ve Been Pouring Juice Wrong
what the fuck
NO HOLD THE FUCK UP
I TRIED THIS THIS MORNING AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
NOT THIS
THERE WAS NO BEAUTIFULLY FLOWING RIVER OF ALMOND MILK GOING INTO MY CUP
YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
HALF THE FUCKING MILK WENT ON THAT CARDBOARD SHIT DICK BLOCKADE AND SPILLED OUT EITHER SIDE OF SAID BLOCKADE AND ALL OVER THE COUNTER
THIS DOES NOT WORK
IT COMES OUT TOO FAST AND JUST DOESNT WORK
sweetheart
no babe
no sweetheart
u fold it back
u fold the cardboard back
u fold it back babe
sawyersblog